Tag: Briana Banos
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It Was A Long Time Ago
I’m on an Andrew Scott kick at the moment. I’ve even just paid to watch Vanya in theaters for way more money than I’d pay for a usual ticket. Most recently, my heart was torn open by his performance in All of Us Strangers. I won’t give too much away, but he encounters his neighbor…
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Top, No Bottoms
The synchronicities in life will always bring me joy. They remind me that the universe is on our side. For the past month, ever since writing my last entry, I’ve been self-medicating. That usually looks like a dose of burying my head into projects and work where I can use my powers that be to…
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The Tightrope
Today I learned the difference between transparency and vulnerability. I start this by saying that there is so much noise in my head, so I must write. If I do not, my thoughts will continue to devour me whole. There really is no place to begin or end, only that I start pouring. Awhile ago,…
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CTSD
On my tram ride home last night, I found a post on social media that really summed up the tightness in my chest. I’ve been battling with persistently worsening eye and neck skin issues for the past two to three weeks, not knowing when it will end or why it’s even rampant in the first…
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Steady Love
I think chronic illness can be a lot like waiting for the other shoe to drop. We are constantly on the watch for the next tidal wave as we sit waiting in crystal clear waters. There is an anxiety present. We know a great white is lurking below. And as much as this near decade…
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The Bifurcation
Since moving to Edinburgh and starting my masters, I’ve enjoyed so much of it. My feet float around the city, my heart clinging to every building and statue. It’s such a remarkable space in the world. I feel at home, which is strange to admit since I am thousands of miles away from family and…
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Not There Anymore
If nothing else, this first week of my post graduate masters in Edinburgh has solidified one thing — I made the right choice. For months, I’ve run through an obscene amount of scenarios in my head. Each one is of myself debating the pros and cons list of moving my entire life to a new…
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Limpet Syndrome
It’s funny. Sadistically speaking. For a full two months, I was traveling non-stop, navigating time changes and cancellations, suffocating my emotional unrest, and even taming the self-imposed responsibility that I must do justice towards the TSW community. A lot on the shoulders; a lot on the mind. In all of that, my health barely wavered.…
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Ace of Wands
I’ve barely had time to sit and think this past month, at least not about myself. Between interviews and travels, to notes and organization, to schedule conflicts, cancellations, and plain bad luck, having a moment to just breathe has turned into a luxury. This past week, especially, has felt heavy. I wake up every morning…
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Second Time Around
I’m sitting in an airport while writing this. To say I am exhausted is an understatement. At Day 10 of this trip, I didn’t expect to feel this way. I knew the fatigue would set in, but not this feeling of anxiety and worry. I remember feeling this intense purpose while on my first trip.…