Tag: love
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Like Skydiving
A friend recently let me borrow Notes on Heartbreak by Annie Lord, a memoir moving back and forth between Annie’s five year relationship with her partner, Joe, and its aftermath. I recently had a short, but personally meaningful, relationship end. Something at the end of her novel (not truly a spoiler) had me tearing up…
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Be the Activity
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending another wilderness retreat hosted by a dear friend in the Cairngorms. Every retreat, I meet new and fascinating people who are on their own harrowing path. Most are struggling through a hardship, or at least have been through a traumatic event (even chronic). During this retreat,…
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Portals
I grabbed my phone to bear witness, but then paused. For some reason it didn’t feel right. I tossed it back down into my bag and surrendered, watching. See, I’m not one for flying. Since a young age, I’ve struggled with our motorway in the sky. Turbulence feels like a rollercoaster with no tracks. The…
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To Have and to Hold
Tonight, I met my new roommate. Bubbly as ever, she arrived at the door — but with no luggage. She pointed down the two flights of stairs and said her friends were waiting with her case. “It’s too heavy. We will have to open it and put things in another bag.” Pretending to myself that…
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Bobby’s Pins
Anyone a New Girl fan? There is a scene that lives rent free in my mind. It’s my Roman Empire. Jess, the lead female of the show, is being grumpily scrutinized by Nick, another lead character. He storms into her room, dissecting everything he claims “needs to change”. From her gigantic ball of yarn, to…
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Top, No Bottoms
The synchronicities in life will always bring me joy. They remind me that the universe is on our side. For the past month, ever since writing my last entry, I’ve been self-medicating. That usually looks like a dose of burying my head into projects and work where I can use my powers that be to…
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The Tightrope
Today I learned the difference between transparency and vulnerability. I start this by saying that there is so much noise in my head, so I must write. If I do not, my thoughts will continue to devour me whole. There really is no place to begin or end, only that I start pouring. Awhile ago,…
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Steady Love
I think chronic illness can be a lot like waiting for the other shoe to drop. We are constantly on the watch for the next tidal wave as we sit waiting in crystal clear waters. There is an anxiety present. We know a great white is lurking below. And as much as this near decade…
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Limpet Syndrome
It’s funny. Sadistically speaking. For a full two months, I was traveling non-stop, navigating time changes and cancellations, suffocating my emotional unrest, and even taming the self-imposed responsibility that I must do justice towards the TSW community. A lot on the shoulders; a lot on the mind. In all of that, my health barely wavered.…
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Ace of Wands
I’ve barely had time to sit and think this past month, at least not about myself. Between interviews and travels, to notes and organization, to schedule conflicts, cancellations, and plain bad luck, having a moment to just breathe has turned into a luxury. This past week, especially, has felt heavy. I wake up every morning…